SEX in the SAUNA, SWEAT in the CITY

The Slacker Way to Profound Vitality. Sweat it out, Baby!

2008-08-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

A few months back I was working on an article for a health magazine. I came across a web posting that gave me a friggin' EUREKA bigger than any thrill gained by an Olympic athlete. It was an article on the benefits of sweating done by a fella named Dr. Ernst Krebs, a Biochemist from Germany. He noted that marathon runners don't develop cancers in his studies and suggested that because they sweat out the toxins daily that cause it.

Seriously, no sh*t. Link

This began a flurry of web searches on the matter, and it turns out that sweating hands down is one of the easiest ways the body can detoxify and clean itself.

When we sweat, our hearts race and blood flows, even if we are just sitting still in a sauna.

Hmmm...

I hate going to the gym much less jogging, and for years was hoping that my sex life would double as my work out. Like most women in Los Angeles, I still like looking good and exploiting my good looks for maximum manipulation on the cute but dumb male actors in town. When it comes to actually doing something about it and going to the gym, I really can't be bothered to lift a finger, I much prefer my inner thighs.

Lately, however, lifting my thighs is becoming too much of a struggle, which brings me to my point.

Can I maintain health, potentially prevent nasty things like cancers, burn fat, and maintain my slack and disdain of the athletic experience? I mean, why bother to run like a marathon athlete when I can sit down for 30 minutes a day in a sauna?

Seriously, just sitting there, sweating like a scene from Flashdance without having to darn the garb and go to the spin class can greatly assist with following.

1.) Weight Loss. Sitting in an Infrared Sauna for 30 minutes can burn up to 600 calories. Just by sitting there!

2.) Improves circulation and metabolism, dramatically. Again, let me stress, we can achieve this high yielding athletic state by simply sitting down for thirty minutes.

3.) Skin Purification. i.e. improves your skin's appearance. I could use some help with this one! I actually notice it takes away from my puffy eyes too, but I can't find any documentation on that one.

4.) Therapeutic Agent. Many athletes are turning to a Sauna sitting as a way to relieve pain from all of their foolish and utterly ridiculous training schedule. Me, I get sore just from returning home at 2 in the morning from my Monday Night Hollywood Social. Either way, both experience and studies are showing that this type of treatment literally stimulates the body's natural healing, affecting everybody from athletes to arthritis suffers to even those with fibromyalgia.

Now the key to these benefits, however, is an ‘INFRARED’ sauna, which is distinguished from a sloppy wet sauna which is found at my 24 Hour Fitness in Hollywood.

According to the official Infrared Sauna Wiki, Dr. Sherry Rogers, a fellow of the American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology and a diplomat of the American Academy of Environmental Medicine, says in her book ''Detoxify or Die'' that an infrared sauna is the only way of removing man-made toxins from your body.

Here is a quick run down of an Infrared Sauna at a Technology Expo via Youtube. Check it out at least to see Martin talk about the topic. Pant pant pant...

Sex in the Sauna. Did it. My Full Report.

2008-08-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

Remember Martin? Enough Said.

Getting Your SAUNA ON in the Privacy of your Home.

2008-08-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

In my search for the perfect sauna experience, I joined my local 24 Hour Fitness in Hollywood to sit in the co-ed wet sauna, which admittedly doesn't have nearly the benefits of an Infrared Sauna but at least the hope of the cast of The O.C.

Instead I got something closer to this.

One of them was with a 70 year old hairy man named Boris (ahem, he says his name is Boris but he suspiciously looks like Ernest Borgnine) and another young Latin male with a purple thong who looks like Ricky but talks like Lucy. Was I interrupting something?

One of them has a musty odor that isn't very compelling and the other with a fragrance of Miami Vice. God knows what I smell like.

Wet Sauna, been there and done that, what are my other choices?

I can get my own. How easy is that? Sunlight Saunas makes a Home Sauna Kit it that snaps together with magnets, taking under 30 minutes to get up and going. Simple right? Especially if you don't even know how to use a screwdriver, like me. I also don't know how to use magnets either, so the guys from MANCAVE had to help me out, as you will see in this video here.

One of them hit on me and won't stop texting me about Ron Paul. Please stop.

The problem I found with this, however, is I don't have a the space that size in my apartment to allow for it. I can't find a place to put my car keys much less a full blown installation of an Infrared Sauna that looks like it can double as a Time Machine. I could see something like these in bigger homes, or maybe it would work perfect at my grandmother's large condo in Westwood, but for us single unit dwellers, I don't think it will do.

What I found next changed my life and inspired this blog. It's called the Solo System and no I'm not resorting to masturbation now. Well maybe sometimes, but this is something different entirely. The Solo System is very small, both in price and in size. I rolled it out on my living room floor and wiggled inside. I am now a burrito. It's usually the other way around so this is a nice change.

Talk about slack! Now I can lie down in my living room in front of my TV and watch Sex in the City and burn all the calories I need. Once again, I have beat the system. This is also from Sunlight Saunas so you should probably check out their website and I should probably charge them big bucks for all this great promo.

Same Sex in the Sauna?

I found this show called 'Gizmo's and Gadgets' which gives a demo of the Solo System product. I hope these two male hosts in this video are dating now because they seem just as eager to get married and challenge state law as they are get a Solo System. Are they for real? Don't they know it's not professional to mix a product demo with sexual innuendo? Dueling Hot Dogs is gay humor. I rest my case.

Home Sauna on the Range.

2008-08-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

Group sweating is social interaction while literally poring your heart out. Some describe these experiences as very profound and mystical, and others simply mention the very real benefits of human bonding.

Group Sweating has a long cultural validity and has existed throughout the world to promote well being amongst a small tribe or group of mafia business men.

Examples of these group sweats are the Finnish Sauna, the Russian Banya, the American Indian Sweatlodge Ceremony, the Islamic Hammam, the Japanese Mushi-Buro or Sento, and the African Sifutu.